Tuesday, 29 July 2014

Day 25 - LARP!

Ok, so it was a couple of days, but it counts as one day's post.  I'm making up the rules here people!

Years ago when the boy child was little and life was different, I had an awesome friend who did LARP (live action role play, go google).  We chatted and I was going to take the kids and go crew for her.  Life got in the way (I think chicken pox??) and I never got there, then life changed and it got forgotten in the chaos.

I then met Furball, and one of our first conversations was about how he did LARP.  I couldn't go to his usual one for various reasons, but last year he bounced at me saying a brand new system (think story/world being created) was starting and that we should go.

I'm still trying to get to grips with the actual role play side of it, but 3 (4?) events in, and I love it.  I get to go away, be in the open, not worry about money, or real life, and just be for a couple of days.

This time was even better as we were camping in a big tent in the trees, so we just stumbled into bed at night, and woke where we needed to be for the rest of the day.

Sunday, 20 July 2014

Day 24 - Leaver's Dress!

My baby girl has suddenly grown up without me noticing, and Tuesday night is her Year 6 Leavers' evening.  I may be a smidge emotional about it (far more than I expected actually), and am fully prepared to be a sobbing mess on Tuesday night.

Anyway, Leavers' Evening requires a dress, and the one she wanted to wear is too small.  Plus I kinda wanted to make my baby a dress?

Fabric was chosen, just enough was still in the shop, and all was bought. Thankfully that night when she came home to tell me that a theme had been chosen, the fabric was still fine for "Black and White" and "Formal".

I totally haven't been putting it off.  I've been busy.  And stuff.  I even made a blind.  Totally not procrastinating.  So, this weekend was pretty much deadline time.  Yesterday I sat and created a pattern, and over yesterday and today, I made her dress.

It turned out pretty damn fine in my eyes.  Possibly the most technically successful thing I've made.  The invisible zip is actually invisible, and the ribbon matched when the zip was added! <gasp>

I'm obviously looking at it thinking of tweaks I would make in the future, but that is standard for everything I make.

My little girl started school 7 years ago.  My little girl who struggled with clear speech, who couldn't handle them changing things without warning her, who had to relearn how to write in Yr 2, who experienced parents breaking up and finding new partners, who has broken two arms and had a hefty head injury in 6 months, who struggled to make true friendship bonds... is leaving primary school with results far above both average and what they predicted for her, with a knowledge of words that baffles me, with writing I can read, and with a best friend who she phones for hours every evening.  I'm so incredibly proud of everything she has achieved.

But it isn't just her really.  Over the past 7 years I have gone from assuming that her quirks would be picked up, to finding the strength to believe in myself and fight for her to get the support that she needs (and it is finally paying off), from not having touched a sewing machine in years to creating a dress from scratch and being confident that I could do it - no back up dresses in a wardrobe, barely looking at anyone in the school playground to having people I look forward to seeing daily, learning to raise three children without a partner, and then learning to let a partner close enough to actually help me.  

We've both come a hell of a long way.

P.S.  Strawb has her Leavers Presentation at nursery on Friday... be prepared for more emotion as my smallest one stops being "the baby"

Friday, 18 July 2014

Day 23 - Blind!!!

I've been making ten blinds forever.
They could have been finished months ago but I've sucked for various reasons that don't need discussing.
But today I finished Blind #7!
I'm very happy with how it turned out.

Tuesday, 15 July 2014

Day 22 - Old Photos!

I found an old SD card with video clips from years ago on it!

Much smiles, and "Don't you look like Auntie Suzie, Mum?!"

Sunday, 13 July 2014

Day 21 - Peace

The weekend has been peaceful.   I got to celebrate our anniversary,  and am very aware that I still wait for the bubble to burst, but I'm starting to see it as more of  Glinda bubble that is strong and I have some control over.
Today has been spent sitting lots as it turns out killer heels + cocktails + kerb = many lots painkillers.  B got excited that it meant she could make them lunch,  and they've all played happily together.
For these two days I haven't worried about money, or B and school,  or being tired, or broken bodies. 
Peace has been amazing.

Thursday, 10 July 2014

Day 20! 3 Years!

Yes,  it is time for soppy.

Three years ago today things were officially Messy.  Plus I had the hangover from hell.  Being 30, asking my mum to collect me from a random man's flat in a tiny skirt, borrowed t-shirt, and barefoot to take me to collect my children from their father whilst massively hungover... not my classiest hour.

But what came from it has brought me many days of happy.  Not just Furball, but a whole group of friends,  a new family, and a renewed sense of self that I'd forgotten I ever had.

Our first "coupley" photo from before we were actually together - the evening had been spent talking (and totally not kissing anyone else... shhh)

Monday, 7 July 2014

Day 19 is about my babies

Today is two years since Aillidh died.  I could go with "nice" terms like passed away, lost her fight, or anything like that, but it wasn't nice, she didn't "lose" anything, it wasn't down to her if she won, lost, fought... a disease took over her body and nothing she could have done would have changed it.

Yes, I am aware this is a happy days thing.  Today is a bittersweet happy.

I am looking at my babies.  I bounced with Strawb to the shops earlier, I laughed with Dude about a song he was making up as he was singing, I arranged for B's friend to come round on Thursday and am listening to them chatting on the phone now.

I am so incredibly fortunate that I have all of my babies with me and healthy.  Far, far too many people I know have to answer the question of "How many children do you have?" with that feeling of pain because they have more children than the amount people can see.

I'm looking at my children tonight with awe and wonder, holding them tight, treasuring the fact that I can do that, whilst aching for Leigh & Andrew, Tanya, Cat, and all the other families who can't do that.