That special moment...

... when you are sat quietly with one of the children, know you have to go shopping, so you say "Do you want to come with me, just me and you?"

There is this magical image of a bonding trip full of butterflies and laughter.  For some reason the painful reality escapes your memory (I guess it is like a pain of childbirth thing - it fades and you think it will be a bright idea to have another one).

So, the Dude was sat next to me on the bed.  I'd cancelled swimming due to the meltdowns leaving school making me think that perhaps he was a smidge too tired for 30 mins swimming, or that perhaps foxes really don't exist*.  Plus I am feeling pathetic with a cold so bailed.  That always leads to much guilt - I am paying for the classes, they need to learn to swim etc, meh, they will just learn a bit slower and the money is being spent whether they go or not.  Anyway, completely off topic.  Shopping!

So, he'd given me this mournful little story about B going shopping with Daddy and not him (which I have now discovered is because he turns down said trips in favour of the xbox... nice manipulation there boy child!), so I think "Yes, we shall go and be happy little shoppers together!".

It started out fine, he got to sit in the front.  He got to choose the supermarket (turns out he is a shoddy shop chooserererer - why do Tesco not have what I need!?!?).  He got to read some signs and learn to spell coconut.  Then it began... "Can we have...?"  I started off still in the chirpy mood, bowed to the curls and blue eyes and bought yoghurt and variety boxes, and the pizza I had point blank refused due to too much dairy for Strawb and not enough in the way of vegetables.  (I justified that with "Well they have veg with school dinners, and Strawb hasn't had much dairy laden food this week").

Then came the sweets.  And the machine with the bouncy ball.  And the frog bath toys for Strawb.  (He is very sweet and whinges for stuff for the others too...).  The lady at the checkout was sniggering with:

"Why can't I have it Mummy???"  

"Because I am a cruel and heartless mother who just doesn't care about any of the shiny things you want"

We made it back to the car in one piece, remembering why I shop when I have childcare... or online.  Thank god for internet shopping.

I should have taken a photo of his beaming little face when we started.  Would have been good for this.  The stroppy face he currently has is far less photogenic.





*"Foxes don't exist" should probably be explained... One night last summer, driving home after bedtime, Dude may have been a leeeeeeeetle bit over tired.  He was crying about anything and everything. B saw a fox out of the window.  He didn't.  He sobbed that he didn't see it, it wasn't fair, and that she was lying because "foxes don't exist anyway!!!".  Since then, irrational overtired crying is met with the title of "Foxes"

Let me paint you a picture...

Life in the Flame household.  I've already mentioned it isn't the Pinterest dream, but I should emphasise this isn't the classic "Oh look at the state of the place" whilst sweeping arm across pristine room to indicate one crumb.

You enter the hallway of doom - a dumping ground for everything evicted from the car (don't even mention the car). Shoes live in the cupboard.  They are obviously scattered across the floor.

The lounge depends on the day.  P.J.s of some sort are always lurking there somewhere.  At least one abandoned cup.  This is a Good Day.  It is rare.  The other 95% of the time it is covered with toys, one crisp packet (always one), random stuff on my nice shelves.  Airing cupboard half open.

The kitchen/dining room.  This is where the Mountains live.  At least two, currently three.  I have too many clothes for the children.  I also have some mental block about putting them away.  The mountains are CLEAN washing.  Dishes are again hit and miss based on my mood, how much I have been in, if the hairy one cooked...

Back garden is a mess of kids toys. It will be better this summer! Yeah! (clearly never said that before).

Upstairs is good. Which is annoying as no-one sees it. The awesome Stray and Kirsty came and spent four full days helping me blitz both my room and the children's and we've actually kept them straight. Go us!!

So, that is the house.

Life...?  Three children.  Two at school... 6 set activities, plus homework, plus most weekends not with me... It is a lot to cram in!! 

Mornings I suck at.  Thankfully I have B who gets up, sorts tv etc (and toast when she isn't being totally unreasonable and being a child - I mean, seriously, kids today....), I groan, throw uniforms at them, dress Strawb and my brain catches up with being awake at about 9.30am.

Evening meals should be a delightful bonding thing, occasionally they are.  More often than not they are children eating whilst I hide for five minutes not being talked at.

Oh I've not mentioned the cats!!  Willow is my big tortie who doesn't really show anyone other than me affection. She was lonely and miserable so we got her a kitten friend... Wash.  Wash is black and white and possibly the most stupid kitten in the world.  Often known as Minewa due to Strawb claiming her from day one "MINE WA'". I am having an ongoing litter training issue.  With Wash.  Well Strawb too to be fair.

(Struggling to find a picture of Willow... I'll add it when I do)

*disclaimer for blog: I can be judgey and snobby at times, not my best quality but I am at least honest about it.  If you're shocked etc then you are clearly judging me for judginess so you can sit in your judgey pants and realise you're no better than me.


**Strawb will probably be the most mentioned offspring.  Not due to favoritism but due to her being with me all day.  My favourite is generally the sleeping one.

Some sort of introduction?

So, I've spent the past few years feeling like I have lost "me" and turned into Mum.  It has taken a lot of searching, but Me seems to be well and truly found.  Woohoo!

Then, watching something on tv last night (ok, it was Glee.  I embrace various dubious tv such as Glee, X Factor up until they changed it all last year, ANTM...  deal with it.), and they were talking about kids growing up and you wanting them to not trash the kitchen or wake you at 5am, and then they are grown up and gone and you've missed it.  It kind of hit a nerve that I spend so much time doing the whole mum thing, that I don't really experience it with all the quirks and fun bits that it does actually bring when I am not yelling at them to shut up and sleep.

Hence the blog.  Figured it will give me time to reflect and appreciate it more, and if anyone other than me wants to read it, kind of give a view of what life is like for someone that doesn't live the Pinterest life of baking cakes and chalk walls (seriously - tell a child they can draw on a wall, they will draw on all walls.)

So, I should probably introduce the players (it turns out I say so a lot).

Me:  Lone parent (I am against "single mum" as I am not single).  A few attention issues - shiny things will distract me.  Pretty much always tired and having some sort of mood swing.  I'm not sure what my current favourite song is (realised this after writing the rest... :'( ).  I guess since this blog is about mum me, it would have to be Counting Crows - Accidentally in Love, or McFly - All About You.  They are my ones I link with my babies. 

B:  The eldest.  9 in 21 days (she told me this morning).  My quirky little girl.  Picture a watered down version of Sheldon from The Big Bang theory and you're pretty much there.  Very dry.  Often referred to as Little Miss Literal.  Wouldn't change her for the world.  Mainly because change is wrong and she would cry ;)  Current favourite song is Come Back to Texas by Bowling for Soup.  I approve.

Dude: 6 yrs old.  Destined to be an Evil Genius.  Likes climbing, taking things apart, and Terraria.  Current favourite song is a Bruno Mars one about girls sharing his carrot... Yes, he has the musical taste of a teenage girl.

Strawb: 2yrs old.  Suddenly growing up at a rate of knots.  Notts?  Nots?  I dunno - the one they grow up at.  Chattering constantly, but most of it completely unintelligible without guess work and hand guestures.  Apparently yelling the same thing at me louder and louder will help.  Always snotty, a tantrumming princess regardless of me wanting her to not be a princess.  Her favourite song is Blame it on the Boom Boom - Black Stone Cherry - again, I approve.

Oh, should probably mention Stray too as she is generally involved in day to day life - Strawb has a love/hate relationship with "Ashha", generally telling her to STAY and then randomly wanting cuddles.

I shall continue later when I am not meant to be doing other things....