Day 20! 3 Years!

Yes,  it is time for soppy.

Three years ago today things were officially Messy.  Plus I had the hangover from hell.  Being 30, asking my mum to collect me from a random man's flat in a tiny skirt, borrowed t-shirt, and barefoot to take me to collect my children from their father whilst massively hungover... not my classiest hour.

But what came from it has brought me many days of happy.  Not just Furball, but a whole group of friends,  a new family, and a renewed sense of self that I'd forgotten I ever had.

Our first "coupley" photo from before we were actually together - the evening had been spent talking (and totally not kissing anyone else... shhh)

Day 19 is about my babies

Today is two years since Aillidh died.  I could go with "nice" terms like passed away, lost her fight, or anything like that, but it wasn't nice, she didn't "lose" anything, it wasn't down to her if she won, lost, fought... a disease took over her body and nothing she could have done would have changed it.

Yes, I am aware this is a happy days thing.  Today is a bittersweet happy.

I am looking at my babies.  I bounced with Strawb to the shops earlier, I laughed with Dude about a song he was making up as he was singing, I arranged for B's friend to come round on Thursday and am listening to them chatting on the phone now.

I am so incredibly fortunate that I have all of my babies with me and healthy.  Far, far too many people I know have to answer the question of "How many children do you have?" with that feeling of pain because they have more children than the amount people can see.

I'm looking at my children tonight with awe and wonder, holding them tight, treasuring the fact that I can do that, whilst aching for Leigh & Andrew, Tanya, Cat, and all the other families who can't do that.

Wonderful Life

Many lots days missed - Day 18

*hangs head in shame*

I took notes!! I intended to write up all the days but one spiralled into another and I'm now a fortnight down the line. 

I made myself a dress that I love, I got to spend a whole week with just Furball who I think is alright,  I got to play Wildstar which was awesome,  I had a weekend of geeky gamingness which rocked.

Today is the official Day 18 though.

Today was Race for Life.

Far too many people are affected by cancer.   Two years ago I was throwing all I had towards the Goddess to help a girl called Aillidh win against cancer.  She was B's age.  She didn't get to see any more birthdays after they turned 9.  I look at B and her friend who bears a striking similarity to Aillidh,  and I see all that she never got to be.  I hear Call Me Maybe and it's bittersweet.

This time two years ago we had no diagnosis.  Adam was "just" ill, most likely a fixable ulcer.   He had "good" cancer... easily treated as a result of research into treatments.  But we're still feeling the after effects.

Friends have lost parents, partners, children.

So many around me have either died from it or beaten it.

I know that there are millions of charities out there, but cancer is the one to have affected my life the most.  Yes, that may be a selfish view,  but meh.

So last year and this year, Stray and I ran.  We ran/jogged/walked/stumbled 5km to raise money.   We convinced Adam to dress up to raise more money.

Between us we have raised over £1000 in the past 18 months.

I'm stunned by the generosity of our family and friends.   I'm incredibly proud of both of us as we have worked hard to achieve decent times.  I'm proud to call Furball "mine" as he's both dressed as we've asked and provided me with so much support when I've felt like I'll never be able to run again,  or had the children so I could run.

So today's happy is that people give a shit.  Over 3500 running this morning alone in Bournemouth,  the strangers online who prayed for a little girl to live because I asked them to, everyone who donates, buys from charity shops, donates clothing.   The people who care for those affected in hospital,  respite, counsellors...

People generally suck. Today I feel like they don't.

Day 17 was CHICKEN!

Yeah, I'm a little behind again.

But no matter, day 17 was the night when Maz came round and we had chicken. Not just any old chicken, but awesomeness chicken. 

Twas an evening for chatting and laughter and much much food.  One of those just catch up and talk nights.  We used to watch crap horror films whilst chatting, but we seem to not get round to that any more.  This isn't a bad thing!

I don't have a picture!!!  Ooh maybe a chicken one...

Day 16... Keep on running....

Today.... I ran!  By run I mean a run/stumble/walk combo that takes me some distance.

I'm halfway through the Zombies Run 5km training app, which plays your music,  tells you a zombie survival story, and increases stamina gradually.   We'll overlook the fact that I am halfway through an eight week programme that I started over a year ago, and focus on me getting a stupid grin when Sam mocked my knee lifts.   Yes, that is someone in the story.   Yes, I possibly need psychiatric help.

I didn't do as much as the last session,  but it is the first one in a month, I don't feel like I used a week's worth of spoons, and I still finished the whole mission and did over 5km.

Oh, the pic shows reality vs being in app mode!

Ooh ooh and sponsor us!!!  Doing Race For Life in three weeks with Stray (even if I have to use an entire weekend's spoons), Furball will wear a pink tutu... donate!   Cancer really needs to fck off.

Day 15 - Sewing Mojo Back!

The blinds are an ongoing saga, I have many to make, and combined with my lack of spoons lately, it has been a struggle to even consider them let alone actually make them.  That in turn leads to many lots guilt over still not having finished them, and a house having big open windows because of me.

Yesterday, I woke up and I actually felt "normal".  Soooo, we made the table biggererer so that I had space, and I actually attacked the blinds.

By the time I reached the IhavetostopbeforeIstartgoingwrong stage last night, I only had about 2 hours left to do before it would be completed.

Today, I got to finish it, but the actually having the energy to do it was yesterday's happy.

I did discover that I screwed up though and it goes wonky halfway down. *wail* 

Day 14 - First fortnight is over!

I'm a few days behind, I know, but, I have an excuse!!!  Actually I don't have any excuse, I have just been doing stuff or sleeping pretty much.

Monday's happy can be games night.  Most Mondays, a collection of geeks (what's the collective term for geeks?  Someone let me know!) gather at my house to play various different games, the games change dependent on the amount of us who can actually make it.  

This Monday was only a couple of us, so we played Zombie Dice, Elder Signs, and the island sinking one that I've forgotten the name of.

Just general happy, relaxed times with friends.